


flightless bird

by toflowerknights



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Depression, Gen, Paralysis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-01
Updated: 2014-10-01
Packaged: 2018-02-19 12:06:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2387714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/toflowerknights/pseuds/toflowerknights
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You know that feeling when you don’t miss something until you know you can’t have it? It had buried itself in Raven’s mind and spread like a disease. She missed running. She missed running so much and she hadn’t even liked it that much to begin with.</p>
            </blockquote>





	flightless bird

**Author's Note:**

> a tiny something i brought over from tumblr.

There are certain times you wonder if there was a target painted on your back. Raven stared at the white wall in front of her with dead eyes and wondered, once again, how the hell she had ended up there.

Her mother would rather feed her addiction than her daughter, and when she almost died to get to the ground to save her boyfriend it turned out that he was in love with someone else.

And now this. She punched her fist repeatedly at the wheelchair that had been given to her by the doctors that had pulled the bullet out of her body. When she had woken up after the surgery it had just… been there. No explanation, no one telling her why she would need a rolling chair. It was only when she tried to get out of bed that she remembered. She had refused to use it, thinking that if only she was patient enough her legs would start to work again.

But patience had never been her strong side. Which is probably the reason she would never leave this stupid chair. Her hands became claws that gripped the handles hard enough to hurt, and she closed her eyes and bit her lip to keep from screaming. She was done with screaming. She had done so too much the first month since she got here. Endless days where she had done nothing but scream until they turned into whispers against the floor she was laying on.

Clarke had come to visit her once, escorted by a frightened looking girl with a small cut on her throat. Clarke had shrugged and looked embarrassed when she caught Raven staring, but Raven didn’t have enough interest or strength to ask what had happened. They had sat opposite each other awkwardly for about twenty minutes before Clarke broke the silence.

"Do you want me to do your hair?" she had asked and Raven felt her shoulders sag. _Yes_ , she had nodded. _Please, do something where I can’t see you pitying me._ Clarke had spent almost an hour combing through Raven’s hair with her fingers and then slowly braided it before finishing off with her standard pony tail.

She had given Raven a smile which made her feel like not that much had changed. She wasn’t broken after all.

The door opened, and Raven was torn from her thoughts. Just as well. If she stayed within her mind for too long her world felt wrong when she woke up. A guard placed a tray of food on the small table next to the door, as far away from Raven as possible. Sometimes Raven wondered if they enjoyed watching her suffer from behind the cameras watching her every move.

The guard nodded silently and as he closed the door Raven gave him the finger and slowly began to push herself toward dinner. It took much longer than it should have. The food was bland and dry and Raven had to imagine the most festive meal she could think of to convince herself she wasn’t really chewing on cardboard.

After dinner she went back to staring at the wall in front of her, waiting for lights to go out. Once again, as all the other days, her mind opened up itself to her like a deep well of regret.

You know that feeling when you don’t miss something until you know you can’t have it? It had buried itself in Raven’s mind and spread like a disease. She missed running. She missed running so much and she hadn’t even liked it that much to begin with. She missed the fresh air she had been able to breathe for 19 days before everything went to shit.

Raven missed space. She missed the feeling of effortlessness that could only be achieved by peacefully floating through space in zero-g.

She missed her legs. Most of all, she missed her legs.

The lights flickered once, twice, telling her it was time to go to sleep and she began to push herself toward the bed. Raven parked the wheelchair a couple of inches from the bed and grabs the side in preparation. She took a breath, making herself calm down before pushing herself off the wheelchair. Immediately she felt that something was off. She leaned to heavily on the arm resting on the bed, and it slid right off the bed, making her fall over in the process.

She crashed into the floor with a hard thud and groaned in pain as her head bounced off the floor. Pride and forehead hurt, she pressed her lips together until they went numb. Help was on the way, it always was when this happened. Raven just hated feeling so helpless. She curled up, as best as she could, and started to cry. She hid her face against the cold, white floor and tried to ignore the hot tears that ran along the length of her nose.

There was a tiny beep and the door opened again. Two guards stepped through the door this time, and Raven felt like a tornado was on a warpath in her heart, making sure to leave everything in ruins.

"Just kill me," she sobbed as they lifted her off the floor and carried her to bed. "Fucking… fucking kill me." They didn’t talk to her, never did, even though Raven was pretty sure that a tiny _you’re going to be okay_ would make the emptiness in her heart seem smaller. But there wasn’t a word uttered. Only cold, detached and practiced movements as they placed the cover over her body and left the room. Raven opened her mouth to let out a long, loud scream, but nothing came out. Her voice had left her and once more she was a pair of dead eyes staring blankly in front of her. How the hell had she ended up here?

She used to be able to fly and now she was just dead weight.


End file.
